Service extends beyond funeral

Funeral director John Hansen of Schauer & Schumacher Funeral Home in Green Bay works in a profession centered on death, but it's also one that gives him greater perspective on life.

Hansen recalls a women he met at a funeral who later came to see him about making plans for her own funeral. A week after their initial planning meeting, Hansen and the woman, who was suffering from cancer, finalized the details of her funeral.

"When she walked out the door I thought, 'I am never going to see her in that capacity again,'" he said. "These people touch your life. They have families and friends. They've made a difference in people's lives and the world around them. A few weeks later, I made a point to contact her just to see how she was doing."

The services provided by many directors and funeral home staff extend beyond the preparation of the body, the visitation and funeral services. Their work often involves building relationships and providing continuous services and support. For example, the staff at Schauer & Schumacher offers grief support resources to surviving family members.

Resources

"We have a listing of some of the support groups out there and some very good books that people can check out from our library to give them some ideas," said Hansen. "We try to let them know that they are not alone. Many people have support from family and friends at the time of death and during the week of the funeral. When that time passes and the person is left alone is when it often hits them. We try to provide them resources to help them adapt to the change brought upon them."

Lori Noll and Becky Schocker, staff members at Schauer & Schumacher, offer an After Care Program for surviving family members. They go to the home to provide information about available resources and to assist with filing for benefits and making necessary contacts.

Memorial service

Each year, Schauer & Schumacher offers a Holiday Memorial Service at Riverside Ballroom in Green Bay where people who lost loved ones during the past year gather together.

"It's a night of reflection and remembrance of their loved one," said Hansen. "We encourage all faiths to attend. We have a speaker, usually someone from Unity Hospice, to talk about coping mechanisms."

Hansen became a funeral director following the death of his father. He was pursuing a career in finance, but the experience of his father's funeral changed his future plans.

'The way my family was treated prompted me to go into this career," he said. "It was a way for me to help families the way my family was helped."

Meeting people at a time of great pain and anguish is difficult, but being there for the family and serving their needs is rewarding, said Hansen, a Green Bay native.

"In the case of the death of a child or young person, for example, no words can take away their pain," he said. "Sometimes saying nothing and simply giving them a gentle nod lets them know that it is OK to be sad or even angry. We can help ease their pain and worry by taking care of everything for them. That may include making calls to the medical examiner. You try to do anything you can do to lessen their burden."

Advance planning

Pre-planning can ease the grief of a surviving family member. The deceased not only has control over some of the plans for his or her funeral, but also makes the funeral planning process easier for family members.

"It's not that you want to get them (family members) in and out as quickly as possible, but it eases the decision making for them and may limit some of the stress and strain they feel," said Hansen.

He added that everyone deserves a funeral. Direct cremation may not allow the grieving process to begin, he said.

"People need a chance to say goodbye," he said. "Friends need to express condolences to the family. Funerals are for the living. Being able to touch their hand one last time is important."

"It's best to bring children to the funeral home," he added. "They also need that chance to say goodbye. Children feed off your emotions. They see you sad and are aware that a loved one is no longer around. They need a chance to ask questions."

One of the unfortunate aspects of being a funeral director is that even though relationships are developed with families, people rarely return to the funeral home unless it's necessary.

"They may have been pleased with the service, but it still brings back bad memories," said Hansen. "We do have some people who will stop in for a cup of coffee. I give them credit. It's hard to come back."

"We send out letters on the one month anniversary and on the one year anniversary. Even though we don't see them, we want them to know that we are still here for them if they need us."