Rosebuds blossom into prayers and children

Elizabeth Ministry What: Outreach to women and their families. How: Prayer support, one-on-one ministry, awareness issues, retreats, family blessings. When: Tenth annual Miscarriage and Infant Loss memorial prayer service at 7:30 p.m. Nov. 1 at St. Bernard Parish, Appleton. A memorial tree will be decorated. Other parishes have similar prayer services in early November. More: Other information at www.elizabethministry.com

Little slips of paper on scraps of silk.

"Miscarriage -- 1997."

"Emily -- born 5/1/02."

"Kathy -- Waiting to conceive."

Big dramas of life, placed quietly in a vase.

With just a few flowers, or in bouquets that fill the church, Elizabeth Ministry's Rosebud Program is spreading through parishes all around the diocese and to about 60 parishes across the U.S. Not even a year old, the program has attracted interest from couples, families and grandparents across the country.

The Rosebud Program is a quietly stated request for prayer. For many prayers.

The requests come from couples waiting to conceive or adopt; from new mothers, and from mothers who weep with empty arms.

"We just wanted a way to identify those people who were dealing with these issues (infertility, pregnancy, miscarriage and stillbirth) and offer prayer support and other support," said Jeannie Hannemann, co-founder of Elizabeth Ministry.

Elizabeth Ministry is an international program which Hannemann and the late Fr. Kurt Gessner, OFM Cap., started more than a decade ago to support women and families through the years of pregnancy and childhood. Networks of Elizabeth Ministers, based in parishes, offer prayer and one-on-one peer support to new parents, bereaved couples and family members in need of help. They further do whatever else they can to strengthen families and help mothers and children.

Elizabeth Ministry Prayer "Creator God, I pledge to truly celebrate the gift of each child conceived and born, and fully mourn each miscarriage, abortion, stillbirth, infant or child death. I will be a strong witness to my belief in the dignity and worth of all life, by treasuring the gift of fertility, but supporting those suffering infertility, by encouraging those in the adoptive process, and by assisting families experiencing an infant or child crisis or special need. I will be a strong and consistent voice for life in my home, by church, my community, and the world. Amen."

From this active ground sprouted the Rosebud Program. What began as a simple way to identify and pray for those who were pregnant, now encompasses all those waiting to conceive or adopt, or who have lost children to miscarriage or stillbirth. Being parish based, it asks parishioners to pray for all those represented by roses.

One of those is Pam Pingel of Appleton. Two years ago, she and her husband, Todd, lost a child to miscarriage -- a little boy who died just before birth. His sister, Emily, now four, was happily involved in the pregnancy -- and was sadly aware of the loss. After that, Pam and Todd had been trying, unsuccessfully, to conceive another child.

Then, last Easter, the little family sat in the Marian Chapel at St. Bernard Church in Appleton. They saw the silk rosebuds Elizabeth Ministry had placed there -- each colorful blossom signifying a request for prayers:

Pink rosebuds for pregnancy;

Red for birth or adoption;

Yellow for those waiting to conceive or adopt;

White for miscarriages, abortions, stillbirths and infant deaths.

Pam looked at the yellow rosebuds, as she had several times before. But on this Sunday, she thought: "Maybe having a few more people praying for me would help."

She took Emily's crayon and wrote her name on the prayer card attached to a yellow rose and put it in the vase. She took the prayer card for those waiting to conceive.

Emily had other ideas.

"Emily was very insistent that I choose the pink rose instead, the one for pregnancy," Pam said.

So she and Todd placed a pink rosebud beside the yellow one and went home.

Pam had known about Elizabeth Ministry's work. Jeannie Hannemann had been there through the tears following the stillbirth. And the two women share a history of infertility, but still Pam hadn't rushed to claim a rosebud.

"I was hesitant in asking too many people to pray for us," she said. "But maybe God was waiting for us to take that next step."

A week later, the Pingels learned they were pregnant. The baby is due in December.

Now Pam encourages others to claim a rosebud. In fact, she's already put another rose in, for a friend waiting to adopt a child.

Hannemann loves stories like these.

"Just to be able to know you're touching lives; that's so powerful," she said.

She has many other stories -- like the infertile couple who took two roses, yellow and pink, and placed the pregnancy prayer card on the home pregnancy test that had become a staple in their house. They're now pregnant.

Hannemann just grins with delight over such tales. They reinforce why Elizabeth Ministry exists. She and her husband, Bruce, struggled with infertility; she watched her own baby brother, Jimmy, die when she was four years old; and the Hannemanns' daughter, Becky, was born with health defects that nearly claimed her life several times. (She is now a healthy 16-year-old.)

"Elizabeth Ministry was a healing, personal thing," Jeannie said. "Jimmy's death, infertility, a problem pregnancy and almost losing Becky. But if I hadn't had all those experiences, how would I have been able to have all those feelings? I had to feel the pain first. My gift is to be able to build something out of pain."

Life brings many thorns -- the Rosebud Program is about finding the growth and hope that rises above the thorns.