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After loss, a beginning

	Beginning Who: Divorced or widowed of all faiths What: Beginning Experience Weekend When: Sept. 26-28 Where: Mount Tabor Center, 522 Second Street, Menasha Information: Call Roxie at (920)739-8991 or Judy at (920)733-6718

Paul Anderson of Madison didn't know how to move forward following his divorce.

"The experience of divorce is just so painful," he said. "I found myself in so much of a state of shock and sadness. I needed to find some answers."

Anderson not only found answers, but also hope, healing and a new group of supportive friends while taking part in a Beginning Experience Weekend in Appleton. Beginning Experience is an international peer grief resolution ministry for divorced and widowed founded in Texas more 28 years ago by Sr. Josephine Stewart, SSMN. The next Beginning Experience Weekend in the Diocese of Green Bay is scheduled for Sept. 26-28 at Mount Tabor Center in Menasha.

"The whole program is so helpful, and hearing people tell their stories really makes you realize that you are not alone," said Anderson, who would go on to serve as vice president of the diocesan Beginning Experience Team. "It's great to have that support from people who've been there."

Team members who have experienced divorce or the death of a spouse facilitate the weekends. Their goal is to help participants deal with the past and embrace the future.

"We want to get them into a community where they understand what they're going through and have them leave with renewed hope," said Cheri McKentley, president of the diocesan Beginning Experience Team. "We see an enormous growth experience from when they arrive until they leave on Sunday afternoon. They have a sense of belonging."

If spending a weekend with people you've never met sounds uncomfortable, you are not alone, said McKentley. She recalls her first Beginning Experience Weekend in 2000.

"I got there late after driving to Appleton from Madison," she said. "Someone from my small group was watching for me. When she saw me pull in, she came out and greeted me immediately. That really helped. This is a very welcoming group and very inclusive."

Friday evening begins with an ice breaker followed by small group activities. The format is designed to allow people to get to know one another.

"By breaking into small groups, you get to know two or three people right away," said McKentley. "People get a sense of acceptance and comfort from that. We try to make taking that first step as easy as possible."

"People who are dealing with divorce or the loss of a spouse should not go through it alone," she added. "If they go through it alone, they get into a rut. Emotionally and spiritually, they are stuck. The weekend gets you moving again. It gives you the tools to close your doors on the past. You have to do the best you can and move on."

Beginning Experience Weekends are open to people of all faiths.

"The service on Saturday night is about letting go and is for all Christian people," said McKentley. "It's a chance for healing through the spirituality component and helps people get back on course with God."

The weekend offers another important benefit, she added.

"It's a good opportunity to get away from the demands of everyday life," she said. "Your meals are provided. For $125 to $130, it's a deal, and you will make lasting friends."