Norbertine finds that God is always there

By Frater Daniel Maul, O. Praem.

	S p e c i a l   S e c t i o n : Vocations Awareness Week 2004
	• Bridging the Gap by Bishop David A. Zubik --     'Many are called:' Let's all be vocations directors  • Profiles of the men who became priests last year     Just what kind of men become priests today?  • Angels in the 'Hood'     Chicago outreach changes lives for inner city people  • How one person made a difference for a seminarian     Support can make all the difference for those     discerning a vocation  • Deacon candidates should show background of service     'Deacons are not simply created by ordination'     • Sidebar: Deacon eligibility  • Joining a religious community is a process     Years of discernment follow a gentle invitation     • Sidebar: Signs of a call  • Things have changed since the days of veils     Formation for community life has adapted more     for individuality  • Editorial -- Our vocations     One of our callings as Catholics is to look for and     encourage call to the priesthood

Maybe it's strange that I don't doubt or have difficulty feeling God's love. Even in my darkest hour, I didn't wonder if God loved me; I knew it and even felt it.

This would make sense if I were a shallow person or naive about life, but, frankly, I'm neither. My interests and personal failings have proven this not to be the case. Maybe it would be fitting, too, if I had had an "easy" life - few emotional bumps and bruises along the way - but that's not true either.

So why am I so "lucky" that, even in the face of depression, rejection and weakness, I have known God to be with me, loving me? To tell the truth, I don't know. But I can tell you how God has gone about this for me.

I have had such a full life. For me, I see this as God's loving presence. In my opinion, that has been God's greatest blessing to me - that I have been able to see all that I have experienced and been given as God's love, as God's presence with me. I have not chosen to understand my life this way. I have been chosen to. Two loving parents, four beautiful sisters, 15 precious nieces and nephews, numerous loyal friends, a couple soul mates, a supportive religious community and a challenging Church have all filled my life.

And this just gives the numbers - it speaks nothing of the experiences I've had with and because of these relationships. Because of these gifts to me, I have been loved, forgiven, accepted, renewed, supported, healed, called to be my best self, and given so many second chances. I have been reminded of my goodness, made to feel worthwhile, believed in and trusted. All of this, as I see it, has been God trying to love me, trying to bring me peace and joy in a broken and often painful world.

God tries to do this in everyone's life. This is why God became flesh in Christ - to bring humanity peace, to redeem us, and make us whole again.

Since I wasn't born a Jew in Palestine nearly 2,000 years ago, God has attempted to become flesh for me in my relationships today, in the here and now! And God has done a beautiful job.

As a result, I pray that I may bring flesh to God's Spirit for others. I desire to accept others, no matter their troubles or brokenness, as I have been accepted. I hope to support others in the ways they need support, as I have been supported. I want to do for my neighbor what God does for me through them - reveal God's loving presence.

(Frater Daniel Maul, O. Praem., a graduate of St. Norbert College, is a simply professed member of St. Norbert Abbey and a Norbertine theologian at Catholic Theological Union in Chicago.)