Help marriages

By Tony Staley
Compass Editor

Pres. George W. Bush in last week's State of the Union address rankled some with his defense of family and religion. Many of the same people criticized his proposal to spend $1.5 billion over five years to help couples develop interpersonal skills that could lead to healthier marriages.

Critics also say the President is crossing the line separating church from state because he wants Congress to pass a law to ban discriminating against faith-based groups when awarding federal grants for social service grants and contracts.

"Religious charities of every creed are doing some of the most vital work in our country - mentoring children, feeding the hungry, taking the hand of the lonely," Bush said in his State of the Union speech. Government should not refuse to fund such programs "to these groups, just because they have a cross or Star of David or crescent on the wall," he added.

Indeed, part of the displeasure over the president's proposal for interpersonal skills training results from his desire to allow faith-based groups to provide such training.

Others oppose the idea because, under the Defense of Marriage Act passed by Congress and signed by Pres. Bill Clinton in 1996, such training could be offered only to heterosexual couples.

Still others say such training won't guarantee stable marriages. While that is true, our society - especially our government - needs to do everything possible to strengthen both individual marriages and marriage as an institution.

Broken marriages take a tremendous toll on society. While many single parents do a wonderful job raising their children, not all children are so fortunate. And one-third of all families headed by an unmarried woman live in poverty, compared to 6.8% of married couples with children.

We need to help couples effectively prepare for marriage. Couples also need to know the warning signs to spot a potentially abusive spouse and either avoid such a marriage or have the person receive treatment. As those who have been through a divorce often argue, we need to help couples avoid problem marriages likely to end in divorce.

Of course, other steps are needed, including elimination of the marriage penalty in taxes so that married couples are not punished economically. Also needed are jobs that pay a living wage, and affordable health care, including health insurance.

The cost of doing what's needed and right to help marriage and families may be high. But the cost of doing nothing is higher yet. We must not be deterred from doing the right thing or from turning to faith-based groups to help solve problems.