God's love leads us to self-acceptance

February 8, 2004 -- 5th Sunday in Ordinary Time

By Bishop Robert Morneau

	Bishop Robert Morneau
	Questions for reflection: 1. What is your level of self-acceptance? 2. Why is non-acceptance so injurious to one's spiritual life? 3. What is your response to Jesus' question: "Whom shall I send?"

"I am what I am!" Is this statement the result of graced acceptance of oneself or is it a concession to complacency? The speaker, of course, is St. Paul who recognized that he did not deserve the name apostle since he was a persecutor of the early Christians. But for that he worked diligently and embraced the name of apostle for the sake of the kingdom.

"I am what I am!" Isaiah the prophet did not use those actual words but we sense in him too an awareness of his unworthiness in the presence of the Lord of hosts. Isaiah confessed that he was a man of unclean lips (and heart as well?). So profound was his consciousness of sin that he felt he was doomed. But the Lord broke into his life, as St. Paul's life was also broken into, and Isaiah was purged of his sin. Then, almost immediately, he was ready and willing to be sent in response to the Lord' question: "Whom shall I send?"

Another "I am what I am!" This time it's Peter the fisherman. After Jesus' preaching and the mandate to put out into the deep water, such was Peter's astonishment at the catch of fish that he confessed, like Isaiah, that he was a sinful man. His partners, James and John, probably had the same amazement and confession. But Jesus would not leave them. Rather, the Lord instructed them to have no fear and to get about the business of catching souls for the kingdom.

If self-knowledge and self-understanding are hard to come by, so much more is self-acceptance. The psychologists tell of the damage done because of a poor self-image. Putting oneself down is both a huge waste of energy and it is also an insult to our creator. We have dignity, the dignity of the sons and daughters of God. Despite our sinfulness, we are still precious in God's sight and his love and mercy are available to us for the asking.

The "I am who I am" philosophy is no passive complacency. It is an act of humility as well as a call to self-transcendence. This "going beyond" oneself in ministry and service is central to discipleship. Paul was at the service of his people; Isaiah fulfilled the role of the prophet and pointed us toward God; Peter would leave his nets and go in pursuit of souls. All this "going beyond," all this self-transcendence is the work of the Holy Spirit in the lives of those who are called.

I wonder how Isaiah, Paul, and Peter would respond to this self-reflection by the elderly Florida-Scott Maxwell: "Life has changed me greatly, it has improved me greatly, but it has also left me practically the same. I cannot spell, I am over critical, egocentric and vulnerable. I cannot be simple. In my effort to be clear I become complicated. I know my faults so well that I pay them small heed. They are stronger than I am. They are me."

Isaiah might say: "Join the club!"

Paul: "Your faults are not stronger than you if you turn to Jesus."

Peter: "Life has changed me greatly too and I still remain vulnerable."

There is a pattern leading to holiness, the call we were all given in baptism. The pattern is clear though difficult to implement: self-knowledge leading to self-understanding leading to self-acceptance leading to self-transcendence. In this pattern there is considerable dying and rising. But we need not be afraid since the Lord is with us as he was with Isaiah, Paul, Peter, and Ms. Maxwell.

(Bp. Morneau is the auxiliary bishop of the Diocese of Green Bay.)