Lent

Each generation of disciples asks Jesus: 'Teach us to pray'

By Sara and Dick Reichert

	A Compass Lenten series

Each generation of disciples seems to repeat what the first disciples asked Jesus: "Lord, teach us to pray." Our generation is no exception. There is great interest in learning how to develop a vibrant prayer life. Fortunately, resources abound to help us.

There are timeless classic texts on prayer written by such masters as St. Teresa of Avila and St. Francis de Sales. There are also with many modern masters such as Fr. M. Basil Pennington, OSCO, and Sr. Joan Chittister, OSB. But there's a common thread in all their works: "Keep it simple."

The fact is, if you have a loving relationship with another person, such as a spouse, a brother or sister, or a close friend, you have the skills and know-how for a healthy prayer life.

	L e n t
	• Other Everyday People, Everyday Faith articles
	• Other Lent articles

You see, prayer is really about our ongoing communication with God to form and maintain a loving relationship. Just as a loving relationship with a spouse must have ongoing communication, so does our relationship with God through what we call prayer.

In our relationship with our spouse or close friend we communicate in these general ways:

• praise or admiration for the goodness we see in them;

• giving thanks for all they do for us;

• sorrow or an apology for our selfishness and for not doing our part in the relationship;

• asking for help, support, or advice.

These are the same four ways our Tradition gives for the purpose of prayer: praise, thanks, sorrow and petition. So when we pray to God we do so in one or more of those ways. That means we need never be at a loss for "something" to talk about with God. When we pray we tell God what seems most important to us at that moment.

There is one critical difference between our communication with God and our communication with a close friend. When we communicate with our friend we often hope to change him or her. For example, we apologize and hope our friend will stop being angry and forgive us. We ask for help and hope our friend will agree to help us.

However, it can never be our aim to get God to change. The aim in prayer is always to bring some change in us so that our understanding and our will gradually become closer to the mind and will of God.

We express sorrow for our selfishness not to "win" God's forgiveness but to change our heart and how we act. We ask God for help not so God will do what we want, but so we can bring ourselves around to understand and accept God's will for us.

The four ways we talk in prayer are easy enough to grasp. How we do it is fairly simple too. When we talk with our spouse or friend we share our thoughts and concerns honestly, trusting they will take us seriously.

Equally critical, we must listen carefully and try to understand what they may tell us in return. It is the same with prayer. We talk, we listen. The talking is easy. We can use our own words; we can use formula prayers; we can use parts of the Bible, like the Psalms. Listening is harder, because unlike talking with a friend we can see and hear, we cannot easily feel God's presence or hear what God is saying to us. This is where prayer manuals can help us by explaining types of prayers, such as centering prayer or ways to meditate.

Basically there are three things to focus on so we can better hear what God is saying to us:

• First, God speaks to us all the time in all kinds of ways. So, we need to become more aware of how God might communicate to us. Again, prayer manuals can help.

• Second, and this may be even more critical, we need to set aside quality time on a regular basis to be with God in prayer.

• Third, we need to stay with it. The main reason most people don't have a vibrant prayer life is not because a good prayer life takes special skills or know-how, but because they quit trying.

If you can communicate with a friend you can pray to God.

(Dick Reichert was a consultant for the Diocesan Religious Education Department for 25 years and is the author of numerous religious education texts for youth. Sara Reichert was a pastoral associate for several Green Bay parishes and later served as a spiritual director at the Norbertine Center for Spirituality. Both are now retired from active ministry.)