Dynamic duo have served a sum of 111 years

By Patricia Kasten
Compass Associate Editor

It all started with lying on the floor, under a black cloth.

Sr. Betty Reinders became a School Sister of St. Francis 50 years ago, at a time when religious women were more separated from the world. "The black cloth was a symbol of leaving the world and getting a new life," she said of this part of that long-ago ceremony during which she professed her first religious vows.

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(The black cloth not only symbolized a separation from the world, but a death to the things of this world and being hidden in the life of Christ.)

Like most members of her community at that time, Sr. Betty's new life meant being a teacher. Later, though, she went for theological studies training and received her master's degree from Mundelein College at Loyola in Chicago, turned to instructing religious educators, directing religious education and working in adult education. Today, as she has for 29 years, she serves as pastoral associate at St. Thomas More Parish in Appleton.

A two-fer team

For 40 of her 50 years, she has worked with Sr. Mary Rose Menting, who has been a member of the School Sisters for 61 years. The two work as a pastoral team - "with us, you get two for the price of one," Sr. Betty quipped. And both remember the changes in how women religious work in the world today.

"When I was professed," Sr. Betty said, "the emphasis was on becoming a nun, on getting a new life. Now you don't leave the world."

She remembers teaching classes and returning to the convent at night. No meetings, no visiting families' homes. "We couldn't even go swimming," she said with a laugh.

Sr. Betty and Sr. Mary Rose first worked together when they were both stationed together at Nativity of the Blessed Virgin Mary Parish in Keyesville in the 1960s. At that Richland County parish in the La Crosse Diocese, they eventually became the last two sisters to serve at the now-closed school there.

Three pennies

The 60s were still the time of little possessions for women religious. Srs. Betty and Mary Rose remember having to ask the pastor to borrow his car to go to town to buy groceries. They also had to ask for the money for the groceries. Since they also served a mission parish in nearby Bear Valley, they remember asking local boys to load a portable organ into a pick-up truck to carry it between the churches. Sr. Betty also remembers not having three pennies of her own to balance the milk money collected from students at the end of a school week.

"Today," Sr. Mary Rose said, "we're accountable to our community, but we're free to make our own financial choices." The two now live in a duplex partially funded by the parish and share a car purchased by their community, but they are responsible for following up on maintenance and repairs.

When the school in Keyesville closed, the two were asked by their community leaders to consider theology training.

"They called and asked us if we have ever thought about religious education," Sr. Betty said. "We hadn't. So they gave us the night to think about it."

As they neared graduation from Loyola, they received several offers and took a shared position working for the La Crosse Diocese for seven years training religious education directors, teachers and conducting workshops.

Since arriving at St. Thomas More, though, all their training came into play - in religious education, adult education, liturgy, pastoral ministry, RCIA, visiting the sick and offering bereavement ministry.

Definition varies

"I define being a pastoral associate," Sr. Betty said, "as doing what your particular pastor wants you to do. It varies. Some pastors have strengths in one area, so they direct their ministers into another area. ... My title has always been pastoral associate, but what I do has changed."

One of the big changes has been that, as the number of priests and professed religious declined, more and more lay people stepped into parish ministry.

"In the parishes, there are a lot of dedicated people who have a loft of gifts," said Sr. Mary Rose. "We see, more and more, that they're willing to help. We've always been told to prepare the people so that - when we leave a place - things don't stop."

At both Keyesville and Appleton, the two have always found lay people ready to help. However, over the years, they have also seen increasing limits on the time people have to offer that help.

"When we came to St. Thomas More," Sr. Betty said by way of example, "there were younger people, with kids in school, who were on the worship committee. Now it's older people on the committee and we don't see younger people clamoring to get involved. There is plenty of stewardship, but not in the area of committees. I'm not trying to criticize; people are busy."

Difficult choices

Sr. Mary Rose agreed. "There is so much happening, all the time. The choices parents have to make today are difficult. The choices and involvement in so many things make it harder for them to get their kids involved in religious education activities as well."

"I think, because of the stress, there's a lot more sickness today," said Sr. Mary Rose. "People really want you to pray with them, even to be anointed."

Even the sisters feel the stress.

"I can still remember, at Keyesville," said Sr. Betty, "having time after Sunday Mass to just be able to walk in the cornfield and meditate. Now on Sunday morning, I think, Oh, if I can just get home and put my feet up and take a nap!"

However, neither would exchange their work now for when they started religious life. They love being involved in people's lives, being welcomed into people's homes like members of the family and being there at the highlights and tough moments of life.

Not strangers

"They invite you; they don't invite strangers," said Sr. Betty. "They welcome us when they have a celebration or when they have sadness. They trust us to be a part of the family for those times."

"We try to enter more into the life of people," said Sr. Mary Rose. "That's really the only way to do it. You get to know them and how life is going for them."

Through all the changes - from living separately in convents full of nuns to working with lay people in a myriad of ministries - both women say one thing never changes.

"The basic truths of our faith," said Sr. Mary Rose. "We hold to these, even though we present them in different ways and live them out in different ways. The Paschal Mystery is central and it will always be - because it always has been."

Sr. Betty agreed. "Jesus died and he rose. That hasn't changed."