SMC senior inspired by her sister's faith

By Joanne Flemming
Compass Correspondent

	Special Section in recognition of Family Life Month: Family Living
	Only in the Print Edition ... Articles found only in the special section of the Nov. 10, 2006 Compass print edition: • Tips on spending time together as a family • Smith family guided by faith in their daily lives • Family experiences having a parent in a war zone • Pope thanks committed Catholic couples • Helpful hints for parents • Educators offer tips for dual-career marriages • Don't lose sight of the covenant of marriage • Give your family the present of presence • Chippewa Falls brewer carries on family faith     and business • Consider your family eating habits

Adult women who have sisters and/or brothers with disabilities are invited to share wisdom they have learned from their siblings during a workshop from 10 a.m. to 1 p.m., Saturday, Nov. 18, at Club West, Neenah.

Entitled SPA (Sisters are Pretty Awesome) Sibshop PLUS, the event is open to girls age 11 and adult women, according to Alaina Fahley, Menasha, organizer. The Fox Valley Sibling Support Network is the sponsor.

Workshop activities include a sibling panel, crafts, affective games and lunch. Fahley, a senior at St. Mary Central High School, Town of Menasha, said the adults will be matched with "sister pals" with whom they will participate in activities.

Prospective participants have been sent questionnaires in which they are asked about themselves and their siblings. These will be used in matching up the "pals."

Fahley pointed out that the idea for the workshop grew out of an adult sibling conference held last spring in Appleton. "I heard that adult siblings were interested in helping younger siblings," she said. Fahley's younger sister, Katie, is autistic and has a seizure disorder.

"Sisters experience having a sibling with a disability in a fashion different than brothers. Sisters are likely to be more involved with their siblings' care, even as young children and on into their adult lives," she stated.

Fahley described her relationship with Katie, 16, a junior at Menasha High School, as "quite close." Their parents, Joseph and Karen Fahley, adopted Katie in 1993. Two years before that, the girl was in foster care with the family.

"Since we are only a year apart, we are really close. It seems like we have been sisters since forever," Fahley, 17, said. The two girls have an older sister who is a junior at Marquette University, Milwaukee.

Katie, she said, is "always bubbly and happy. She always gives people hugs." She likes to read, go to the library, watch television and play board games.

Fahley added that her sister enjoys the outdoors, climbing on the swing set and playing football, basketball, baseball and badminton. She noted that Katie does "have problems socially and sometimes with learning. A lot has to do with how she acts around people. She has to work on that.

"I think she has made me who I am," Fahley continued. "She helps to keep me levelheaded. Having a brother or sister with a disability, especially Katie, has made me ... more accepting and more tolerant. I think she's changed my viewpoint."

When asked about that viewpoint, she answered: "To see your brother or sister is a child of God and to see that they are here for a reason. Even if sometimes they can frustrate you and can embarrass you, it's worth it."

Fahley "admires" Katie's strong faith, she said. That faith has made her own stronger. "It takes some work to understand why she was born the way she was, but I think it has made it stronger."

She has participated in the Fox Valley Sibling Support Network's Sibshops since she was nine. Sibshops are workshops for children ages six to 11 who have siblings with disabilities or long-term illnesses. Last year Fahley became a Sibshop facilitator.

Registration deadline for the Nov. 18 workshop is Nov. 11. There is no charge for the event, but participants may give a donation of $5 to $10 at the door.

A grant from the Community Foundation for the Fox Valley Region will cover a portion of the SPA Sibshop PLUS workshop expenses.

For more information, contact Fahley at (920)996-9564 or the Fox Valley Sibling Support Network website at www.fvssn.org.