Lent

Sinning means 'missing the mark'

By Mary Sherman

	A Lenten series on Reconciliation

When I was a student in the '60s, we heard a lot about sin. We knew there were different types and degrees of sin and the consequences of each.

Most of all, we realized that sin was somehow "missing the mark." It was a chosen course of action that moved us away from looking at ourselves honestly. Sin also blinded us to the changes that would move us into a deeper relationship with God and one another.

Traditionally, Lent is a time of prayer, fasting and atonement for our sins. It is an excellent time to seek a quiet space to rest with ourselves and our God. In these quiet moments, we can reassess our relationships both with God and with one another.

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It takes discipline to carve out time each day and it takes courage to honestly look inward and assess the course we are on. If we do this faithfully each day, we gradually awaken our inner freedom, reconnect with the stirrings of the Holy Spirit within, and begin living a life of choice.

What does being honest with ourselves really mean?

It means that we need to look at our relationships from the inside out.

As a marriage and family counselor, I spent many hours listening to people shift, shuffle, dodge, and deny responsibility for the hurt and pain they were experiencing in their lives. All their energy went into finding fault with their spouses, their children, their extended family members, friends, the church and their communities.

They sapped all their creative energy by nourishing an internal dialog that reinforced "It's not me. It's your fault." There was plenty of blame to spread around and that meant including most everyone in their path. "If you were different, if you talked less, talked more, worked harder, saw it from my point of view" my life would be great.

We all face these decision points when we realize that we are not living a joy-filled life.

Are we willing to soften our hearts, embrace our own darker side, and lay down our life for the other?

Are we willing to look at how we personally "miss the mark" in our most meaningful relationships?

Are we willing to take a stand for love and move beyond our favorite scenarios of "you done me wrong"?

Are we willing to rest with God in prayer and humbly accept responsibility for creating positive changes in our own lives and in our relationships?

Galatians 5:13-26 challenges us to serve one another through love and to love our neighbor as ourselves. Through prayer and honest self-reflection, eventually we will find that our lives yield the fruits of the Spirit: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, generosity, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.

Every day life asks us a question and blesses us with the opportunity to continue on our path. Will we choose a journey that hardens our hearts and creates distance from those we love or will we soften our hearts and open ourselves to a greater capacity to love and be loved?

(Sherman was a marriage and family counselor for many years with Catholic Charities of the Diocese of Green Bay. She is now the assistant director of Stewardship & Pastoral Services for the Green Bay Diocese.)