Lent

We're invited to forgive as God does

By Dcn. Pat Whitcomb

	A Lenten series on Reconciliation

In the course of a lifetime we have many opportunities to forgive others, to show them mercy. Most issues are mild enough that we can find it in our hearts to do so. Occasionally, it's more difficult, especially if we've been treated unkindly, been deceived, or had rumors spread about us (James 3:1-12 and Proverbs 18:20-21). But usually, we can still find a way to forgive.

More rarely, I hope, are the devastating offenses: lasting physical damage, murder, molestation and so on. If you follow the news, you know there are many such cases.

In all of these, the scriptures and church teaching call us to be people who forgive. Easy to do? Of course not!

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The Bible uses the words forgive/forgiveness 77 times. It uses the word mercy 212 times. The Catechism of the Catholic Church, second edition, uses 79 statements to teach about forgiveness, and 19 to teach about mercy. While not everyone is into reading this kind of material, what is in the catechism and the bible is well worth your time. And there are books by those who have devoted time and energy to making the topic more understandable. Toward that end, I suggest one.

In 2000, Fr. Joseph Nassal, CPpS, wrote Premeditated Mercy, (Forest of Peace Publishing). In it, he challenges us to adopt the title's attitude. We are familiar with the phrase, "premeditated murder." We know that for something to be premeditated, we have to think about it, plan it, and finally, carry it out. "Mercy" works in the same way, and adopting the process can help us to become forgiving people.

Fr. Nassal shares several stories of people who faced horrific circumstances and refused to be governed by them. These people started by prayerfully forgiving the person(s) who committed these acts against them. Prayer is the vital component. Remembering the things we need to be forgiven for also helps. The book is a good read, if you're willing to be challenged to change the way you think (Romans 12:1-2). Fr. Nassal has written several other books worthy of your attention, including The Conspiracy of Compassion and Rest Stops for the Soul.

So where does that leave us when it comes to mercy and forgiveness? Are we to deny the feelings that rage within us, the desire for justice, our pound of flesh? We want revenge for the hurt caused us and those we love! Neither the scriptures nor the catechism say that feelings are wrong. It's what we do with them that matters. Ventilating our feelings can start healing, as long as we accept them for what they are. If negative emotions continue to haunt us and control our lives, we would be wise to seek the help of a counselor.

Realizing our need for help is the beginning of wisdom (Psalm 111:10 and Proverbs 16:32).

Lent is a time for change. Search your heart and see if there is anyone you need to forgive. Even if you can't face the person, forgive them. Make it an act of the will. Don't worry about feelings of forgiveness - they will come in time. Focus on being a person who believes in "Premeditated Mercy." Make it a part of your personal code and forgiveness will be a way of life. Everyone will benefit from your choice, including you. Pray, Learn, Decide and Do.

May the rest of your Lenten season be filled with grace and surprise.

(Dcn. Whitcomb is the pastoral associate at St. Therese Parish, Appleton.)