Lent

Bringing forgiveness into our homes

By Br. Steve Herro, O.Praem.

	A Lenten series on Reconciliation

"The Amish community, which inspired the world with acts of forgiveness after a Pennsylvania schoolhouse shooting, has been named the newsmaker of the year by the Religion Newswriters Association (RNA) and Beliefnet. The multifaith spirituality Website Beliefnet.com said December 14 [2006] that the Amish community topped its list of newsmakers for demonstrating 'courage, forgiveness, self-sacrifice and love' after a gunman entered an Amish schoolhouse in October and killed five girls before taking his own life. 'They really taught everyone how to live our faith and values in a vivid way,'said Beliefnet editor Steven Waldman" (see Christian Century, 1/9/07).

As social concerns director for the Diocese of Green Bay and chair of the St. Norbert Abbey Justice and Peace Committee, I often comment on the need for forgiveness.

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We are still moved by the forgiving response of the Pennsylvania Amish community last fall. However, what about forgiveness in our daily lives, within our families, parishes, religious communities, work sites, or social organizations?

If you are like me, it is easier to comment on forgiveness in Pennsylvania, or South Africa, than needs of forgiveness under your own roof.

A few summers ago, a group of Norbertines interviewed as many Norbertine priests, brothers, fraters and associates as possible. We sought to determine what social justice issues were of the greatest importance.

I will never forget the response of one priest. He simply wondered how we could name issues of peace and justice outside our religious community when there were so many cases of injustice within our community.

In other words, we must come to peace with each other over past power plays, humiliations and so on, before we could begin to think of addressing national issues of peace, poverty, and discrimination. It is always easier to comment on the national than attempt to rectify the personal. As Christ said, "remove the log from your own eye before taking the speck from your brother's" (Mt 7:5).

The feast of St. Augustine (Aug. 28) is a holy day for Norbertines. Though he lived about 700 years before our founder, St. Norbert (d. 1134), Norbertines have adopted the Rule of St. Augustine and we profess simple and solemn vows on his feast day.

The Rule, a simple guidepost for our order, begins with the clear mandate to live in one heart and one mind on the way to God. Can people be of one heart and one mind on the way to God if they are unable to bury hurts between each other?

Our Abbot Tom De Wane challenged us in a homily on the feast of St. Augustine, 1999, to enter the millennium by breaking the chains of hard feelings by one-on-one forgiveness. Did any of us seek out our brother to heal longstanding wounds? Easier said than done.

We can all name incidents of separation between family members, co-workers and brothers and sisters in religious community. How many of us can name moments of forgiveness?

Last summer, at an information fair, another Norbertine introduced me to his co-worker by stating, "Steve lives with me at the Abbey and works for the Diocese ... and does whatever he pleases." I was extremely hurt; I try to be as accountable as possible to my religious community, family and co-workers. I left the event and went to my scheduled retreat. Needless to say, the incident was part of my prayer and spiritual direction that week.

Back home, I asked to speak to this brother Norbertine after vespers. I told him how he hurt me by describing me to a complete stranger as someone who "... does whatever he pleases." I now know from his reply that he did not intend to hurt me, but was trying to "be funny." However, I was extremely hurt by the "joke." Unjustly tarnishing someone's reputation is no laughing matter.

Why do I remember this event so vividly? Perhaps because it is one source of pain in my life that I did address and confront. How many more sources remain deep within our guts, instances when we have hurt or been hurt? How many needs of forgiveness are crying to be released within our lives? What are we waiting for before we release these demons?

(Br. Herro is social concerns director for the Green Bay Diocese and a member of St. Norbert Abbey, De Pere.)