News

Event spiritually uplifts men

By Joanne Flemming
Compass Correspondent

About 600 men were "uplifted spiritually" March 24 while being challenged to assume their rightful roles as leaders and parents at the second annual Esto Vir conference at St. Pius X Parish, Appleton.

George Meiners of De Pere, conference committee chairman, said participants came from Wisconsin, Illinois, Upper Michigan, Minnesota and Arkansas for talks by Dr. Ray Guarendi on parenthood and discipline, Fr. Thomas Loya on the theology of the body and Fr. Frank Hoffman on the Eucharist. Bp. David Zubik closed the day with Mass.

Many fathers brought their sons, ages 10 and up.

Greg Christman of St. Pius Parish brought his 18-year-old son Bradley. "It was a good time to connect and be men together," said Brad.

Several participants talked about what they learned:

Meiners said he learned from Guarendi that "the father's role is important in the family. You're not just a couch potato as a father, letting the mother take the lead. She needs your support. You're there to serve the family. The best way to do that is by exercising some leadership with your children and setting high expectations."

Guarendi emphasized the importance of raising "moral" children as opposed to "civil children" with manners who can get along in society, Meiners said. "That's important but it is not going to get you to heaven necessarily. In raising a moral child, the father can be the example as he steps up to his role."

David Demro of Ss. Peter and Paul Parish, Green Bay, said for him the main thrust of Guarendi's talks was "no morals, no character."

"We need to have discipline with children. Love without discipline is basically child abuse," Demro said. Parents need to get children to realize that when "you say no, it's no."

Jeffrey Engel of St. Pius Parish, Appleton, added that "parents aren't taking the parent role and being disciplinarians. They're too light on their kids.... You're the adult, and you need to be in control. If you don't stick to what you say, kids know that."

Fr. Loya emphasized the differences between men and women and the need for couples to understand those, participants said.

Fr. Loya listed four roles a man is challenged to assume, Christman said:

• "kings over our families and in all we do;

• "lovers ... of our faith, of our wives, of the church and the entire body of Christ;

• "warriors ... out on the front lines fighting for our church and for our Lord. Warriors in our own families," protecting them from evil and all that goes on around them.

• "priests, being part of spreading the word of God and sharing it with those around us."

"Men are to be protectors of women," said Brad Christman. "Everything is about the women. We are supposed to be there for them."

Fr. Hoffman held exposition of the Blessed Sacrament during his presentation, Meiners and Demro said, and stressed that people should not take the Eucharist for granted.

In summing up the conference, Engel said he learned that "if we as men put God first in our lives and work and strive to have a personal relationship with him, then our wives, our children and our jobs will be less of a challenge because we are going to be at peace. We'll have the wisdom and patience to handle the situations that might seem overwhelming if we didn't have a relationship."

"We have to assert ourselves. We need to become closer to God," Demro said. "He made us different from women for a reason. We need to be the head of the household, be a good example, show reverence and the importance of communicating with God through daily prayer, the Mass and perpetual adoration."