Easter

My brother made bad choices, but I feel foolish

By Andrea Sabor

	A Compass series

Dear Catholic Adviser,

My brother is 18-years-old. Last year he asked our dad for a large amount of money so he could pursue his dream to be a musician. He didn't stop to think that dad might need the money to replace the beat up old truck he drives to work everyday.

My brother went off to Nashville and soon found out that he didn't have the talent to catch the attention of the record producers. The only jobs he managed to find were with bands at backstreet bars that did not pay enough to live on. We did not see him at all and barely heard from him all year. We spent many days and nights praying for his safety and well-being.

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This week he called dad and asked if he could come home because his roommates kicked him out and he was homeless and hungry. Dad was so happy that he called all our friends and relatives to come over for a big party when he gets home.

Boy, do I feel left out. Here, I am working three jobs to put myself through college and my renegade brother gets a party.

Help! Do I have the right to feel second-rate and jealous of the attention dad is giving to my younger brother?

Dear Brother of a Prodigal Son,

We can certainly relate to your situation. It is difficult to accept the decisions that other people make and how they can play havoc with relationships with family and friends.

First, we commend you for caring for your parents and for your brother. You prayed for him and never gave up hope for his return.

Second, you made good decisions for your life by striving to get an education despite the hard work. You will come to appreciate all this when you get the job and the salary you deserve after graduation.

Third, you have maintained your integrity and your father knows this. He has always been there for you. He recognizes the sacrifices you have made to be dedicated to your purpose and to not lose your love for your wayward brother in the meantime. You are a good son, a good brother, a good person.

Your brother's story reminds us of the story of the Parable of the Lost Son (Lk 15:11-32). This is a story of God's unending mercy and compassion even for persons who take the wrong turn, made selfish decisions, use other people, and who think their happiness lies in "making it big" in life.

It is up to each individual to form a mature moral conscience for oneself and not to live by what one has been told. Each person must walk the journey to maturity in order to be a more authentic person. You did not waver in your commitment and dedication; your brother found his by going down the twisted path and finally finding his way home.

Remember this as you go and celebrate your brother's safe return to the loving arms of the family.

(Sabor is the Adult Faith Formation Director for the Green Bay Diocese's Department of Education.)